Traveling Mercies

Please don't pass out upon seeing two posts today. I know. It's as rare as a solar eclipse. Try not to stare directly into the computer screen or it might blind you.

As I was sharing about my sweet husband in my last post, I remembered a story of God's goodness that is great for Memorial Box Monday. This wonderful tradition was started by Linny at A Place Called Simplicity. Click the bloggy button below to read about her inspiration behind this idea and to link to other stories of God's faithfulness in their lives.



This story takes place August of 2008 in Guatemala. We were one year into our adoption of Daniel (that ended up taking two and a half years). We visited as often as we could so he would know we hadn't forgotten about him and to build our relationship with him. It was Brad's "turn" to visit. I remember waiting each night he was away for a phone call with the full report of what they had done that day. Sometimes I'd even get to hear Daniel's little voice on the phone saying, "Hola, Mama. Te amo mucho." (Hi, Mom, I love you so much.) I'm so grateful I can hear that precious voice all the time now.

But this particular night when Brad called, his voice was different. It surprised me because I knew he had planned to go with friends and the children they were adopting/sponsoring to a waterpark. I knew something was wrong. My mind went in all directions wondering if a child had drowned. Oh, dear God, what if it was Daniel. I could hear him choking up as he spoke. I patiently waited for the words to come, hoping this story ended happy.

Fortunately he opened with, "Kathie, God was with us today." With those words, I let out a sigh of relief.

He continued, "We had a wonderful day at the waterpark. Daniel and V. [one of the girls we sponsor] had such a precious time. It was the first time either had gone swimming. They loved the bathingsuits you sent. Anyway, the kids were worn out from our day of fun. Doug [one of our friends] was driving for our hour and a half trip back to the orphanage. I was sitting in the front next to him with Daniel asleep sitting in my lap."

Okay. Just a little side note that we would never normally let our children sit in the front seat on our laps. But when you find yourself in a van without seatbelts, trying to cram 10 people in for a day of fun, well, you find yourself doing some "when in Rome/Guatemala" kinds of things.

Brad went on, "Then out of nowhere, some people hiding in a ditch on the side of the road threw a rock, the size of a small watermelon, at our van. By God's grace it hit the bar that separates the windshield and door window on the passenger side. It shattered the windshield but miraculously the rock bounced off the bar and didn't break through. If it had, the speed and impact would have been enough to have killed me or Daniel."

We certainly rejoiced over God's protection that day. It was heartbreaking to imagine getting a phone call from Guatemala from one of our friends letting me know that Brad or Daniel had been killed. But I don't think we really understood exactly what God spared them from that day till a couple months later.

I was reading on a Guatemala adoption website a link posted from the U.S. Department of State with a travel advisory. They mentioned that stretch of highway that Brad and our friends had traveled on that day. They said that some people had been hiding in ditches, throwing things at cars. When the tourists stopped to survey damage or see what happened, these people would rob them and often even physically and sexually assault passengers.

When I read that I wept. I thought the thrown rock was just a silly prank. But not only had God spared Brad and Daniel from possibly fatal injury, He protected that entire van of two men, three women, and several little girls and boys from unthinkable violence. Praise God that the rock didn't come through the windshield and that our friend Doug had the wisdom to just keep driving instead of stopping to assess the damage.

I have put a small rock in our Memorial Box to remind us of God's protection that day. It also reminds me to pray fervently for my friends and family who are on mission trips or are traveling to complete adoptions.

Thank you, Mighty Father, for never ceasing to guide and protect us.

Gratefully His,
Kathie

Saving Private Cryin'

Sorry I didn't get a chance to update yesterday. I have come to the conclusion that my life is one long episode of The Amazing Race (and I'm in last place). And after a day of carpooling, shopping, buying, wrapping, baking, phone calling, cleaning, blood-pressure checking (just kidding, I don't even want to know my numbers right now), I was up most of the night with my sick son.

Brady has a respiratory thing made worse with his asthma. Unfortunately the treatment is giving him meds that make him deliriously sleepy followed with steroids that help open his airways and enable him to climb walls like Spiderman. The combo makes a normally delightful child seem like he has rabies. Our bedtime story was about Old Yeller. Not a typical cautionary tale, yet I wanted to send the message that I have a Nerf gun and I'm not afraid to use it.

Yesterday was quite a day on our adoption adventure, but never have I been so proud to have a husband who loves with his whole heart and isn't afraid to fight for his children. Brad makes his living in sales and yesterday he had what may have been the biggest pitch of his life.

I think where I left off was telling you that after the Branch Renap folks (kind of like our county level) said we had to go through the Central Renap (kind of like our state level) to get our birth certificate, we were so disappointed. Central Renap only takes files on Tuesdays and it was Wednesday. We also only have a couple days left to get this birth certificate and passport and do our final documents to have any chance for Brad and Daniel to be home by Christmas.

But we had a huge answer to prayer Wednesday when Brad, Daniel, and our paralegal pleaded our case and a very nice lady at the Central Renap said she would accept our file anyway and try to get the approval for our birth certificate by 3:00 p.m. Thursday. Well, our paralegal stopped by yesterday to see if it was ready only to get more bad news. The person who reviews files and gives these approvals would not be able to even touch our file till next Tuesday. Our attorney called and pleaded, our paralegal stood there and pleaded, but to no avail. But Brad had to ask himself. Any chance of Christmas at home was going quickly.

So he and Daniel walked down there and asked to have a minute to speak with the kind lady who had helped him the day before. There he again explained the situation. That we have a little boy almost 10 years old who has been waiting to finally have Christmas with a family. That our family has been trying for 2 1/2 years to get him home. That Brad and I have been switching off living in a hotel for a month trying to complete the adoption and we've hit one wall after another but are so close to being finished. That if we can just get the birth certificate by Friday, we can get our final documents to the US Embassy by Monday, and we will still have a chance of making it home for Christmas.

The sweet lady just said, "I'm so sorry. Please don't tell me this. It breaks my heart but there's nothing I can do."

Then Brad and Daniel broke down in tears, standing in a hallway with hundreds of people watching the crazy American with his little boy begging for her to just ask her boss one more time if there was any way he could review our file before Tuesday. He said if he and Daniel spend the Christmas season alone in a hotel room in Guatemala, he will feel like he has failed Daniel and his family at home. He pleaded, "If you will just ask one more time, then I will know that I've done all I can."

She went into her office. Brad and Daniel waited nervously for an hour. She returned smiling to say that, even though they were scheduled to be working away from the office on Friday, he would come first to the office and look at our file. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!! Brad gave her my blog address (perhaps so she could see how many people are praying us home), so "Ms. G" (I don't want to give your name without permission) if you are reading, THANK YOU SO MUCH!

So pray, pray, pray (as Daniel says) that we get that approval this morning, that they are able to get the birth certificate at the branch Renap next and that there's still time to get our passport today. We need to submit our final documents first thing on Monday at the US Embassy for any chance at getting our Visa appointments before Christmas.

Thanks for your continued prayers. I'll try to update tonight.

Much Love,
Kathie

Seesaw Sovereignty: Lessons from the Playground

When life returns to normal (whatever that is), I plan to do an ongoing post where I share a lesson found in a bit of my everyday life. It will be a "Lessons from the . . ." (fill in the blank) series. I wrote the first one a few weeks back called "Loved to Pieces: Lessons from the Toy Box."

Today I'm too tired to put anything meaningful together. I was away from home for two weeks and I wasn't able to Tivo my life and I'm trying desperately to catch up. But there are things heavy on my heart and thoughts in my head that I thought I'd share before they go into my mental compost pile.

I don't know about you but I grew up during a time where playgrounds were constructed of those massive metal creations of swings, monkey bars, the Wheel of Fortune looking spinning thing, and the metal slide so hot it could fry an egg in the summer. And these items were no doubt covered in lead paint done in primary colors. I remember picking the paint off making a game of how big a piece I could peel.

Like most kids, I loved the playground. My favorite was the swings. I remember the joy when I learned to pump my legs so I could swing without needing a push and mastered jumping off mid-swing and flying through the air. Oh to be 8 years old again.

But my most unfavorite playground attraction was the seesaw. Yes, it was fun while it lasted, but it required a trusted friend to be on the other end (and one who was similar in weight). But I always seemed to be riding with an attention-deficit buddy who would hop off the ride as soon as the school bell rang, or her mother called, or another friend made a better offer. And I would not be able to defy the laws of gravity and would plummet to the earth. I'll never forget the inevitable contact with the ground--starting from my tailbone crushing and ending with my jaw snapping shut. Good times.

I learned early in life to avoid the seesaw on the playground, but unfortunately I haven't learned how to avoid the seesaws of life. It started early . . . things like having a BFF and one of us being invited to a birthday party and the other left out. One of us getting a part in the play, or making cheerleading tryouts, or being asked to the prom, and the other not.

And as I've gotten older, the seesaw has gotten bigger. And with the seesaw being bigger, the one who falls feels greater hurt from the impact. From two single gals riding the seesaw together, then one gets married and the other keeps waiting for Mr. Right. Two married gals hoping to have a baby, one gets pregnant and the other battles infertility. Two pregnant friends sharing the joys of impending motherhood, one has a healthy baby and the other one miscarries. One having financial blessing and the other financial drought. One has good health and the other medical challenges. One marriage celebrates golden anniversaries, the other ends in death or divorce. One has a sick child who is healed, the other has a sick child who doesn't make it.

Sometimes the friend just hops off the seesaw leaving the other to nurse their wounds alone--so excited about their blessing that they become oblivious to the other's pain. But usually the friend will first make every effort to stay on the seesaw as long as possible, then gradually try to bring her friend to a place where she is firmly positioned on her feet before getting off. Still it is hard to be sitting alone on the seesaw, when minutes before you had someone to ride the highs and lows with you.

Okay, you may be scratching your heads wondering why at Christmastime I'd go on and on about outdated play equipment. But it is this very time of year that being alone on the seesaw hurts the most. And nothing has felt more like a ride on a silly seesaw than our adoption.

You see, we started out on this playground with 27 other families adopting from the same orphanage. Nine of these families are dear friends of ours from Georgia and many others from this group have become dear friends over the past 2 1/2 years. We did our homestudies and dossiers together. We traveled to Guatemala together and took pictures of each other meeting our children for the first time. We prayed together, leaned on each other, and cried together when we discovered our papers had not been handled correctly and we would have to start from scratch under a new law and process. And I guess I had always imagined that we would all bring our kids home together.

But, unfortunately, the seesaw of international adoption breaks every playground rule of fairness. While one country program might take 3 months, another might take 3years. One might cost a few thousand dollars and another might cost 30 thousand. And although one would think the process would be the same within a country, we've seen a group of families who, although had their documents redone for Guatemala about the same time, are having very different timelines.

Some families got their empathy studies (trip to bond with the child to officially start the adoption process)in March, others in June and July and October, others are still waiting. Some got in and out of family court in 3 days, others 3 months. Some got a court who went on Christmas break November 9 to December 9 making a Christmas homecoming almost impossible, others got a court with a December 11 to January 14 holiday break leaving that door open. One family was able to bring their child home last August, some families may never be able to bring their child home at all. I HATE THIS SEESAW!

The worst part is that we have children riding with us. Some of these children, who have been waiting their whole lives to be with a family, will finally celebrate Christmas in their new home. And some will continue to wait. Don't get me wrong. I have rejoiced over every child who has come home. Oh, how it gives hope for the rest of us!!!! Never have I been so thrilled to see someone hop off the seesaw after years of heartbreak and frustration. Those of us left on the teeter-totter from Hades are screaming, "Run as fast as you can!!!" Still . . . we ache to be next.

And today, we are waiting to find out if we will get Daniel's new birth certificate and passport. What happens today will determine if Brad and Daniel have a chance to make it home in time for Christmas. And if we get good news, it will be bittersweet because it means we will leave dear friends behind to ride the seesaw without us.

But they will not be alone. For the Master of the Playground says, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5, NIV) And that is the key to seesaw safety.

Only ride with the One who can carry your weight when your burden is heavy. The One who will keep you safe through the highs and the lows. The One who will never, ever leave you. And you will enjoy the ride on the seesaw so much more if you can trust that He is always there even when it looks like there's no one in the other seat.

Thanks for you continued prayers. Please cover not only our adoption with prayer, but also the many others still in process.

Today is a big day of wondering if it's our turn to jump off the seesaw. We rest in God's way and His timing and know He is faithful no matter the outcome. I will update tonight to let you know how things turned out.

Ready for the Swings,
Kathie

Latest Adoption Scoop

Sorry it has taken me so long to update on today's happenings. We've had a packed day of crazy. (Is there any other kind?)

Brad and Daniel arrived at Renap to find that our paralegal had just met with the register of the court. The good news: they would issue the birth certificate at the local Renap instead of us having to next go to the central Renap. This is huge because it saves us at least a week in the process.

The bad news: she said the birth certificate wouldn't be ready till next Monday (meaning no chance to be home by Christmas). The paralegal talked with her further and somehow convinced her to get it done by Friday. This wasn't much help because there still wouldn't be time to get Daniel's passport, submit final docs to the USE and get a Visa appointment before the holiday.

So Brad asked if he and Daniel could talk with her. He was warned that if he pushed too hard, she might go back to having it done Monday. Our precious driver, Victor, helped translate. They explained the situation, how badly Daniel wanted to be home by Christmas and how badly his new family aches to have him home, . . . I'm sure my boys gave their very best sad faces. Well, praise God, something must have softened her heart (or perhaps she was ready to have them out of her office) and she agreed to have it done by Wednesday morning. Whooo hooooo!!!! Although this is great news, I'm afraid to believe it until that birth certificate is in Brad's hands.

The next problem was that we needed to get Daniel's passport before submitting our final docs to the USE. We needed to submit these by this Thursday because they don't accept them on Fridays and we've been told that the USE will be taking all next week off. (We still can't find anyone who will confirm their holiday schedule.) But another answer to prayer was that our attorney was able to get an exception with Immigration to allow us to get the passport at noon (they usually only do it first thing in the morning).

So . . . IF we can get the new birth certificate Wednesday morning, the passport Wednesday afternoon, everything translated and to the USE by Thursday morning, THEN we have a very good chance that Brad and Daniel can do their Visa appointments with the State Department Monday and Wednesday (we've been told they will be open next week and pray that it's true), AND there are still two seats left on already very booked flights, they can be home by Christmas Eve.

Praise God, WE'RE STILL IN THE GAME!!! Please keep the prayers coming. If this adoption has shown us anything, things can change minute to minute. Please also pray for other adopting families in the process. We have several dear friends also adopting from Guatemala, two who are also trying to come home by Christmas. One is Daniel's best friend Alex. And there are others who aren't as far in the process who will have to spend Christmas away from family and friends because they are fostering their boys in Guatemala. There is one family who is at great risk of losing the little boy they are adopting . . . a long heartbreaking story. They have also been doing this 2 1/2 years and love their son dearly. Please keep the Montes family in your prayers.

Thanks so much for your continued prayer support. We believe that prayer can move mountains and we certainly witnessed some biggies move today!

So Very Grateful,
Kathie

I'm NOT Going to Say Bah Humbug

Since I like living in a lovely place of denial--especially regarding our never-ending adoption nightmare, today's post will be a bit different. I'm going to take part in something I enjoy reading called "Not Me" Monday started by MckMama. Every Monday a bunch of bloggy moms fess up about the things they "certainly didn't do." (You can click on the button below to read other "Not Me" Mondays.)



I did NOT get through Guatemala's airport security last Thursday with a 2 liter of hand sanitizer in a jumbo Ziploc baggie, perfumed with Lysol spray, only to be seated between Mr. Black Lung and Ms. Nasal Drip.

I did NOT wake up Friday morning feeling like someone had poured concrete in my head and green Jell-o into my lungs. Nope. I just rubbed my nose raw for the fun of it.

I did NOT get an e-mail on Friday from our adoption attorney that after waiting 5 weeks for our certifications to be completed, they showed up at Renap (the governing body that issues new birth certificates) to discover Renap had decided to just close for the day for a Christmas party! Nope. That would be ridiculous, that only our branch Renap would be closed, especially since we only have a few days left to complete our adoption before Christmas.

I did NOT force my children and husband into a constant state of Christmas merriment since we only had two days with Dad home before he had to leave. I did not coerce them into a "Norman Rockwell on speed" rush to make memories--positioning them into Olan Mills kinds of poses in front of our tree that we had to pick out and decorate yet another year without our adoptive son. (*Sigh* I will have to Photoshop Daniel and smiles in later.)

I did NOT spend Saturday night wrapping and packing Christmas gifts for Daniel in case he doesn't make it home in time to spend Christmas with our family. I also did NOT realize that evening that we needed one more document notarized. I did NOT send Brad to drive across town to have a friend notarize it on his last night at home. (Thanks, Laury, for saving our necks!)

I did NOT have to drive my husband to the airport on Sunday morning to leave for Guatemala not knowing if he'll be back in time for Christmas. And I did NOT have to pull over on the side of the road on the drive home because I was crying so hard.

I did NOT let my 12 year old daughter attend a youth group Christmas party even though her science project was not yet finished. No, that would have been irresponsible of me.

I was NOT up at 11:00 p.m. helping her finish the model of a plant cell--heavily medicated operating heavy machinery known as a hot glue gun.

She did NOT call me a "secretory vesicle"--that would have been an improper use of the science term and would have been unsympathetic to the head cold that I do NOT have.

I did NOT remind her that I she is not the "nucleus" of this family, that I give every bit of my "mitochondria" to keep us going, and if she didn't get her "golgi body" moving there would be problems within our "cell wall." (I'm just kidding. She actually did a great job without needing my help.)

I did NOT venture outside in 30 degree raining yuck in the middle of the night to make an international call since my cell phone does not get reception in the house. The cat did NOT escape into the night and I did NOT roam the streets in my Christmas PJs trying to find him.

The icicle lights that my husband lovingly hung on the house did NOT all short out (except for about three lonely strands). And our Christmas tree did NOT tip over in the stand and is now leaning like the Tower of Pisa against the window.

And this morning, I did NOT get the business end of three kids missing their dad as well as many personal belongings. (After being gone two weeks it seems everything has wandered from its place.) My nine year old daughter did NOT freak out that she couldn't find her PE shorts and I certainly did not blame it on the Christmas elves that seem to do mischief in the night.

I did NOT get a call from our credit card company notifying us of ridiculous amounts charged from a hotel in Guatemala City. I was NOT tempted to pretend our card had been stolen and ask them to write the charges off.

And, no matter what, I'm NOT going to say "Bah humbug." (Okay, this one is really true.) For no matter what happens, we are still so very blessed that I have no reason to ever complain.

Okay, I'm done. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.

For those of you just tuning in . . . we could really use the prayers today. Here's a quick summary of our crazy life. We have been trying to adopt a little boy from Guatemala for 2 1/2 years. We are in the final steps of the process but are cutting it very close in trying to get him home by Christmas. He is now 9 years old and his heart's desire is to finally spend his first Christmas with a family.

My husband and I have been trading off living in a hotel room with him in Guatemala with the hope that we'll complete the adoption by Christmas. Most government offices will be shutting down at the end of this week for the holiday. We are running out of time.

Brad, Daniel and a paralegal for our case are at the Renap in Chimaltenango in Guatemala right now hoping that we can get Daniel's new birth certificate today. If they grant it, then there's a chance they can make it home in time. If not, Brad and Daniel will most likely be stuck there through the holidays. Please keep the prayers coming. I'll try to update tonight.

More than lots,
Kathie

Coming Home Empty Handed

No word from our attorney. It seems they still haven't gotten the signatures on our certifications. There's no need to drive to Chimaltenango now. There would be no way to get there and back in time to catch my flight home. I'm nervous because if we don't get these signatures by tomorrow, we will have to wait till Jan. 14 to get them because our court is going on vacation.

Our only hope now is for Brad to go to Renap on Monday (if the certifications have been signed), then IF we get the new birth certificate he'll go to get the passport. Then he'll submit our final documents on Tuesday with the hope that they will do our Visa interview on Weds. If those things don't happen, well, I rest in knowing Daniel will come home according to His timing in His way and by His grace. I'm living proof of God's faithfulness and surrender to His sovereignty.

Still it is hard leaving Guatemala without Daniel. I had fully expected my homecoming to have his sweet hand in mine . . . to have him sitting on the airplane next to me marveling at the view from the clouds . . . to be greeted by our dear family and friends welcoming him home. Instead I'll be passing the baton and a bunch of documents to Brad to finish the race.

But it is time to go home. I've been away from my other three for 2 weeks. I can't bear another day. Brad and I agreed that it was okay for our children to make sacrifices to get their brother home, but I could tell that we were getting dangerously close to crossing the line of what they could handle. We don't want Daniel's siblings to resent him before he comes home.

When I was talking with my nine year old Ava the other night, she started sobbing and said, "Don't they understand by now how much we love him?! Why can't they see that he is part of our family and just let him come home?!"

I guess I'm feeling the same way. I feel like I'm going home from the hospital after delivering a baby and he has to stay. But it's not because he isn't healthy enough to go home . . . it's because the papers don't yet declare that he is ours. And I guess that's the hardest part of adoption. Knowing that the child is ours before the world agrees.

We're all packed and I'm waiting for my driver to take me to the airport. I'm so grateful that Daniel was so understanding that I needed to go and Papa will be coming. I know there will be tears as I leave and that is so hard. Oh Lord, please make this be the last time I have to say good-bye.

Thanks for your continued love and prayers.

With a Heavy Heart,
Kathie

Post-Game Report

Okay, we have had a time out and it looks like we're going into overtime. (Brad is certainly shaking his head reading this thinking I'm not the best person to be using sports analogies.)

We waited all day for the call. It never came. As the hours ticked by, so did any hope of getting our certifications today. Our attorney e-mailed that they might be ready in the afternoon. We were hoping that we could meet with Renap before they closed. No such luck.

At last report, the certifications are done but not signed. My attorney will be going in the morning to see if he can get them signed.

Here's what complicates things. When I called home Monday night, my three at home were in tears begging me to come home. I'm so torn because if I'm gone even one day here, it could be the day that I'm needed to meet with Renap. But I booked a ticket to return home tomorrow thinking I would be able to meet with Renap today. Brad will be flying down on Sunday to carry on where I have left off. My friend Angela will be watching Daniel in the interim.

So now I'm wondering if I should delay my return home till Friday. But my attorney says there is no guarantee that I'll even get the signatures tomorrow or even Friday. I could extend my stay and it be for nothing. Right now Brad and I will have only two days this Christmas season together at home. We need this time. Our kids at home need this time. So for now I'm planning to return tomorrow night.

The strategy for tomorrow is for my attorney to go to our family court and see if he can get the certifications signed. If he can get them by 9:00 a.m., Daniel and I will meet the paralegal at Renap where we will have about an hour to plead with them for the birth certificate until I will have to make a 1 1/2 hour drive back to Guatemala City to catch my flight. Never a dull moment.

Please keep the prayers coming. The game isn't over yet. We've had a time out and now we are replacing key players (me and Brad) on the field/court (hey, you can fill in the appropriate sports terms).

Thanks for your love and prayers.

Needing Medication,
Kathie

Game Day

I'm sitting in my hotel room with my stomach in knots. It's almost 11:00 a.m. our time and I'm hoping and praying our attorney calls and says our certifications are finally ready after waiting over a month for them.

Our game plan is to get the certifications and take them directly to the governing body in the city the Daniel was born. We have a driver on stand-by waiting to take me, Daniel, and a paralegal to Chimaltenango. There we will beg for them to issue a birth certificate today. Daniel and I will give them our most pitiful faces (we're really good at this) and pray for a miracle.

Here are the rules to our game. If the certifications aren't ready today, there may not be time to do the final steps in time for a Christmas homecoming. We've been told that the US Department of State will only do Visa interviews on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays and that they will not be open the week of Christmas. We need to get our birth certificate today, his passport tomorrow or Friday, and have our final documents translated and ready to be submitted on Monday. If all this happens, we could have our son home by the end of next week.

But our attorney e-mailed me last night that the person who has to sign off on our certifications is swamped and isn't sure if he'll even get them done today. (Ulcer number one.) And if the Renap in Chimaltenango refuses to issue the birth certificate and makes us go through the Central Renap governing body, it will take a couple weeks to get our new birth certificate and there will be no way to get home in time for Christmas. (Ulcer number two.)

And if there are ANY errors in our certifications and these documents have to go back to our family court that is going on vacation for a month this Friday, then we will have to wait till our family court reopens on Jan. 14 to continue with the process and either Brad or I will have to live here till early February. (Ulcers three, four, and five.)

To add to the stress, Daniel is very aware of how many days till Christmas and how close we are to not making it home. This morning he said, "Only 16 days to get home for Christmas. Pray, pray, pray." It's the most depressing advent calendar countdown ever.

Thanks for letting me whine. I hate even wasting your time with these silly details. We are so blessed. There are people who have lost loved ones this past year and are facing unimaginable grief. There are people who have children who are critically ill and aren't sure if their child will even live to see next Christmas. This is so small in the grand scheme of things, yet to one little boy and his family . . . it seems like everything.

This is our "Hail Mary" shot with seconds left on the clock. The ball is in the air and we're waiting to see if it will make it into the hoop. Thanks for cheering in the stands and praying on our behalf.

Five . . . four . . . three . . . two. . . .

More Than Lots,
Kathie

The Little King and I

First, thanks so much for your prayers, encouraging e-mails, and comments below. It humbles me to think there are many, some who I don't even know personally, praying for us to come home.

Yesterday we went to the US Embassy again (Daniel calls it the US Emily). They needed one more document that fortunately we had in a file at home. Brad faxed it this morning and we were able to submit our file for pre-approval. Today and tomorrow are absolutely critical in determining if we can make it home before Christmas. We have got to get our notifications today, our certifications tomorrow and our new birth certificate this week to have any chance to be home by Christmas. PLEASE keep the prayers coming!

With each mommy moment here, my thoughts often go to remembering my own mom who died about 5 years ago. My mom loved musicals and with the invention of the VCR (yes, I remember when we first got one), Rogers and Hammerstein were frequent guests in our home. Now my own kiddos love them. A few weeks ago we watched "Fiddler on the Roof." The next day my 4 year old son was cracking me up walking around the house belting out "if I were a rich man. . . ." (Hmmm. With these adoption/hotel expenses and our evaporating bank account, perhaps this is what Brad's singing, too.)

The tune that seems to be playing here in the soundtrack of my mind is from "The King and I." I feel like Deborah Kerr in a big hoopskirt singing "getting to know you, getting to know all about you. . . ." Although we've visited Daniel a total of 16 times over the past 2 and 1/2 years, there's nothing like one-on-one time in a hotel room to really get to know someone.

I've learned if I'm sharing a bathroom with two 9 year old boys, NEVER EVER sit down on the toilet without first wiping the seat. I've also learned from Daniel that Tranformers are great fun, body functions/noises are universally funny, and the love of cars and anything electronic starts at a young age. I've seen a precious innocence that I was afraid was gone due to all he might have seen or experienced. The other night there was a kissing scene in an animated movie and he and Alex did their "eeewwwws" and covered their eyes till it was over. The boys also covered their eyes when we passed the woman's undergarment department at Hiper Piaz. So cute.

And he has learned that mom takes her eyes (contacts) out at night. (It freaked him out the first time he watched me.) He's learned that mom does something strange called sit ups. (How do you say "muffin top" in Spanish?) He knows that I'm a big kid with some gray hairs and wrinkles. And he knows that sometimes moms cry happy tears (especially his mama).

But as fun as it is "getting to know" him, it has been equally heartbreaking realizing how much I just don't know. With my other three I have photos from before they were even born and still the size of a peanut. I know of every tooth grown and lost, every favorite and every fear, every triumph and every disappointment. With Daniel I see actions and behaviors and don't know the history behind it or the future cure for it.

One example was from our first night in the hotel in Antigua. Our room door faced a common courtyard (previous hotels we had stayed in faced a hotel hallway). I could tell he didn't feel safe. He checked and double checked the locks many times and finally pushed a chair and table up against the door. He's done that many times here (he seems to be doing much better in our current room that is in the interior of the hotel). I can already see some food hoarding and food issues. The other night at dinner his meal was the last to come by several minutes. I could see the panic building that he wouldn't be fed. (I gave him my meal which he fortunately liked.) It breaks my heart to watch these things. I pray constantly for wisdom in parenting him.

Friday night I got a package with all my documents to be submitted to the USE. I knew inside was a copy of his abandonment decree that had been translated into English. I wasn't sure if I wanted to read it. I wanted so badly to know what had happened to him, yet didn't. I watched him sleep and looked at the scars on his scalp where the hair no longer grows, and the scar on his forehead, and a mark on the back of his neck that looks like a cigarette burn.

I finally opened the envelope. I first saw his original birth certificate with another woman's name listed under mother. I didn't realize how much it would bother me to see someone else's name where mine should be.

Then I started to read the abandonment decree with only the light from our silly Christmas lights. I had to hold the papers far from my face so my rain of tears wouldn't smear the ink on these documents. I won't share the details on my blog--it is Daniel's story to tell. But it helped me understand my son a bit better. It also helped me understand that Daniel has been given a second chance at having a mother--a role that previously was in his eyes synonymous with monster.

The days and months and years ahead may be challenging as he may test boundaries . . . and struggle to build trust . . . and try to understand unconditional love. But never have I been so grateful to be entrusted with such a job. Please keep praying us home!

More than lots,
Kathie

Nacho Night

Well, for those of you who have been reading my blog a while and know that I usually do something called "Sunday Dinner" (scripture served with a dessert of music), I won't be able to do it till I'm home. My playlist is only accessible in certain countries and apparently Guatemala isn't one of them. So for now it's going to be nacho night--this and that sprinkled on fragments of my life (I hope I don't give you indigestion).

We had a nice day today. It helps when we're able to do something fun. The coming week will be all business so we went to the zoo with Angela (another adopting mom), her adoptive son Alex and bio. son Joshua, and Tim (an adopting dad) and adoptive son Max. There are animals at this zoo that I'll probably never get to see anywhere else so it was a real treat.

Daniel delighted in every furry and feathered creature we saw--his favorites were a baby ocelote, the lions, and the monkeys. My favorites were the giraffes, the baby ocelote, and a cute little monkey named Daniel.

As we were leaving, Daniel asked for a stuffed animal to snuggle with at night (stuffed friends weren't allowed at his orphanage because of problems with lice). He picked a monkey that has a baby monkey attached to its back. I just tucked them in bed. So precious. I'm so glad he hasn't outgrown the need to cuddle.


Well, while I'm sharing "this and that" . . . I was bummed that I couldn't attend my church women's tea yesterday. I was supposed to speak and, well, haven't been able to figure out time travel, so I wrote something for the gathering and my sweet friend Amy read it for me. The theme of the tea was "What Can I Give?" I'm posting it below for anyone who couldn't be there and anyone else who finds gift-giving stressful.

As always, thanks for your love, prayers, and encouragement.

Buenos Noches,
Kathie

The Ultimate Gift Exchange

My blood pressure begins to rise as soon as the Christmas decorations appear at the mall. I know I should feel joy and peace in celebrating the season, but instead I feel a knot in my stomach. (Or perhaps it’s that Cinnabon I just inhaled.)

Anyway, the stress I’m feeling is simply the worry over not finding the perfect gift for every person on my list. I’ve actually been known to buy a gift, get it home and have gift-buyer’s remorse, and return it for something else. There’s a customer service gal at Target who knows me by name. She recommends gift cards for my affliction.

Can you imagine if the three wise men had been three wise women? They would have agonized over the gifts for the Baby Jesus. I can hear them now.

“We don’t really know his size,” comments Wise Woman One. “What if we get him an outfit and he’s already outgrown it.”

Then Wise Woman Two pipes up: “Remember that he’s been wearing nothing but swaddling clothes. I’m sure anything would be appreciated. If you enclose a gift receipt, they can always exchange it.”

Wise Woman Three expresses her opinion: “I think we should go with something personalized. Maybe something engraved with his name and birth date.”

Wise Woman Two reminds: “But we aren’t really certain of the actual date. Reading the stars can be so unpredictable and apparently Mary hasn’t gotten around to sending out a birth announcement.”

Well, you see how this could have been a disaster. Can you imagine the nativity set with one wise woman holding a gift receipt, another a Target bag, and another with a monogramed onesie. But if Biblical times are anything like modern day, the gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh were probably bought and wrapped by the wise men’s wives anyway.

These days it’s all about having the perfect holiday, perfect decorations, perfect menu, and perfect gift, . . . it’s easy to fall into the trap that anything less is unworthy. I admit that I’m prone to HGTVism. But several years ago, one of my kiddos helped me see gift giving in a different way.

It was when Olivia was about 4 years old and was invited to one of her first birthday parties at a neighbor’s house. We were new to the neighborhood and Abby was her first little buddy. I remember displaying the invitation on the fridge and Olivia counting down the days on the calendar. We went to the store for the sole purpose of finding Abby the perfect gift. I don’t remember exactly what it was but remember it was an odd shape of plastic and cardboard packaging that would be a challenge to wrap.

I tried to talk Olivia into going with a gift bag (in my opinion it’s an invention right up there with electricity). But, no, she had picked out some princess wrapping paper and was determined to wrap it herself.

We got the item home and, as all good obsessive-compulsive disorder mommies would do, I tried to assist her efforts. She looked up with those big brown eyes and said, “Mommy, this is MY gift to Abby. I want to wrap this all by myself.”

She cut with her safety scissors and folded the paper carefully around the corners of the package. She secured that sucker with a thousand pieces of tape to make sure there was no chance of Abby seeing the surprise before it was time. But that was not enough. She searched through our box of stickers and adorned the package with an adhesive assortment of American flags, cartoon kittens, and red and pink hearts. And the final touches were sequins and feathers glued on top. And it looked . . . like it was in pain. Although the attached card read “To Abby, From Olivia” all I could see was “Help Me!”

It sat overnight on our dining room table. (However it’s hard to remember a time in my life that a birthday gift wasn’t bought on the way to a party and wrapped at red lights.) Brad saw the explosion of paper, tape, and feathers and commented: “It’s taking every bit of your will power not to rewrap it--isn‘t it?”

I blurted out: “Oh, how badly I want to! This is the first gathering with our new neighbors and we show up with THIS. I have beautiful paper and an assortment of curling and wired ribbons and cute little trimmings for the top. I could have done this present in plaid and polka dotted perfection!!!! What if they laugh at Olivia when she brings in her gift? But she is so proud of it, I just can’t rewrap it without breaking her heart.”

Well, we left for the party the next morning. Olivia insisted on carrying the gift. I was relieved because I didn’t want any credit for the gift-wrapped nightmare. We walked in to see a table of gifts that looked like they were taken from a Hallmark ad. I began to pray, “Oh, please God, don’t let anyone laugh at Olivia.”

Olivia ran to the birthday girl and handed Abby the gift. Liv was beaming ear to ear and said, “This is for you. I picked it out and wrapped it all by myself.” It was the longest pause at a birthday party I can remember (with the exception of a shindig where a tray of red-iced Elmo cupcakes spilled onto new white carpet). But Abby’s response was worth all the goodie bags in the world: “It’s soooooo beautiful!!! I love it!” All the other moms saw what was going on and piped up with “oh, I love the feathers, and, wow, that’s a great use of tape.”

It then occurred to me that the most precious gifts aren’t necessarily the ones that are perfectly packaged. They are the ones that are given with the greatest love. The most beautiful gift of song isn’t necessarily Celine Dion backed with a full orchestra . . . it’s a choir of children praising the Lord off-key. The most precious jewelry isn’t found in a blue box from Tiffany’s . . . it’s a necklace made from macaroni noodles delivered with a sticky kiss. And the most special gift isn’t one of extravagance . . . it’s one of complete sacrifice.

As I long to give myself as an offering to the only One who is perfect, I often feel like Olivia’s odd-shaped package . . . I want so badly to be a perfect reflection of my Creator yet most days I’m a mess of tape and feathers and poorly chosen stickers. I’m broken and flawed . . . how could a King so perfect love a servant so imperfect? What could I possibly give that shows the extent of my love for Him?

And then I remember Romans 5:8. The words move me to tears. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (NIV)

Wow. He loved me as a sinner. Undeserving of grace. An offering of brokenness. Yet His gift to me was the sacrifice of Perfection, beautifully nailed to the cross.

So as you think about what you can give your King . . . give out of love, out of sacrifice, without concern of imperfections, without thought of what others will think of your humble offering. Don’t be a wise woman seeking a perfect gift for a perfect King. Be a living macaroni necklace delivered with a sticky kiss for your Heavenly Father.

The Suite (and Sweet) Life of Mother and Son

I'd give $10 for a Q-tip, $100 to have attended my church Christmas tea today, $1000 to be in my own bed tonight watching a Christmas movie with my crew at home, and all my worldly possessions to have my entire family under one roof forever. Yes, I'm still homesick.

But in this post, I'm not going to continue to depress you. It really isn't all bad here.(And I apologize again for the crazy things happening to my text on some posts. It often transposes words and caps words in the middle of sentences.)

Anyway, we're living a Third World version of The Suite Life of Zach and Cody and now that I know I can post pics from here without my laptop blowing up, I thought I'd give you a glimpse into this poorly written sitcom I'm stuck in.

This is our "Tipton Hotel." It's older than many of the nice hotels we could have chosen in Guatemala City but it has a lot of charm and has a very special ammenity--it's a two minute walk to the US Embassy. And since a Visa for Daniel is all our family wants for Christmas, it's like sleeping next to Toys R Us.


Daniel and Alex are our Zach and Cody, so I guess that would make me the mom who sings in the restaurant lounge. And if this adoption drags on much longer, that may be how I continue to pay to live here. But I'm thinking my Feliz Navidad, off-key, with a southern accent, would have me on kitchen duty pretty fast.


We have a small pool that's not heated but the weather has been so warm on most days it hasn't been a problem.(I can't believe it might snow in Georgia and we're wearing shorts here.)


This is in the little hotel restaurant.


They have great food and since we're usually the only ones in there it's been a good place to work on table manners. (Note: I would NOT use the salt and pepper shakers on tables 1 and 4. I'm just saying.)

The beds are for sleeping,


playing,


and jumping.

(Hey, there's nothing else to do so monkeys are allowed to jump on the bed if they are careful.)

We moved into a bigger room tonight because Alex's adoptive mom and brother joined us today. This is rub a dub dub, three cuties in the tub (the guest appearance in this pic is Joshua). The pool was cold today so we moved the swimming into the bathroom. (I don't think Daniel and Alex had ever been in a bathtub.)Daniel said, "Look, mama, I have a beard like Santa!"


Yes, you do see Christmas lights in the background of many of the pictures. When we went to Hiper Piaz (it's like Wal-Mart) last week we picked up some lights and other decorations for our room. I think Daniel and Alex are the cutest part of the display.


Daniel's face was precious when we turned the lights on and he squealed and clapped with joy. The hotel staff likes to peek in our window when the curtain is open and giggle at the craziness in our room.

I've watched enough Zach and Cody episodes to know that life at the Tipton is all about hijinks. And boy do we have hijinks. Like this morning when I discovered one of the boys had accidentally used my toothbrush. My choices were to risk getting whatever intestinal souvenir they might have or disinfect my toothbrush with tap water that isn't safe to drink. (Cue the laugh track.)

Or how about when my adoption attorney calls (I guess he's my Mr. Moesby) and says we have another error on our certifications and our judge has had a stroke and it will cost us a couple weeks. This is the episode where I pose as a flower delivery girl and show up at the hospital hoping he'll sign my documents. (No I didn't really do that but I did give it some serious thought.)

But the best part of this hotel life is the sweet time with my new son. The other night Daniel asked what were my favorite things about Christmas. First, I talked about the music, then got bummed that I haven't listened to one Christmas carol since I left the day after Thanksgiving. (My playlist isn't accessible from Guatemala and it's killing me that I can't even add my favorite Christmas tunes to my blog.)

Then I talked about the silly traditions we have as a family, favorite Christmas treats, and how we have "pajama rides" in the car to look at lights. Then I told him how much I love lights--white, colored, flashing, icicle. I think he could tell I was getting homesick just talking about it all.

As I was getting the boys ready for bed we heard some commotion outside our door. Daniel peeked out the window to see what was going on and exclaimed, "Mama, come look!!!!" This is what we saw when they were done.


Here I am, far from home, wishing I could be looking at lights with my whole family, instead of stuck here watching the Christmas season come and go. Yet God makes sure I have a bit of Christmas cheer hung right outside my door. God is so good to me.

Feliz Navidad,
Kathie

Stretch Marks

It's the middle of the night here. There's a man vomiting in the hotel room next door. I've not had good luck with these paper thin hotel room walls. I'm wishing I had packed ear plugs.

We actually had a very nice day yesterday. The boys got to swim in the pool and this afternoon we saw "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs" with some friends.(You can see in the pic that the Spanish version is called something like "Raining Hamburgers." The boys loved it. (Me, too, even though it was in Spanish.)

But the sweet time I'm having with Daniel is clouded by the stress of trying to get us home. I feel Christmas in Georgia is slipping away. I learned tonight from our attorney that our certifications won't be ready till Wednesday of next week. We'll have two days left to do 2 weeks of the process. We're running out of days before our family court and the US Embassy take Christmas break.

Daniel stops everything a few times a day and says, "Can we pray, pray, pray that we'll be home for Christmas?" And we stop what we're doing. And pray. And pray some more. He's giddy at the thought of waking up Christmas morning at home. I asked him if Christmas was fun at his orphanage. I know that the director and staff work so hard to provide Christmas for more than 450 children. Daniel replied that the gifts are nice but that time only lasts a few minutes. He said the rest of the day was sad because he didn't have a family. He shared that last year was special because he had sweet dorm parents. They provided stockings for the boys and showed a movie and had popcorn. He said that was the happiest Christmas of his life. Then added, "But I know this one will be even better because now I have a family."

There have been many things about this adoption that have stretched me. Sometimes it's good to be stretched beyond your comfort zone. I'm surrendered to God's way, His timing, and His sovereignty like never before. My heart is broken for orphans--I've seen things and loved in ways that I never imagined and I can't go back to my comfortable ignorance.

But there are things that I haven't gotten used to. I can't bear to be away from my children (bio. and adopted). I used to skip the church women's retreat because two nights was too much time away. But I've traveled several times during this adoption--usually for 5 or 6 days. I've been away 8 days so far this time with no end in sight and my heart hurts. I called home tonight and it didn't help to hear them crying on the other end asking when Daniel and I will be home. It makes it harder that it's the Christmas season and I'm not there for their Christmas programs and parties, baking cookies, and singing carols to the top of our lungs together. I don't like stretch marks.

I'm like a pregnant woman who screams for an epidural after the first contraction. There are many families who have been living here since April trying to finish their adoptions. One such family finally brings their son home today!!!! (Congrats to the Lee family!!!) And then there are men and women who serve our country who are away from their families for months and years. And missionaries who answer God's call to serve overseas far from their loved ones. Now those are stretch marks. I have no room to complain.

I was homesick the other night at dinner. I decided to introduce some of the dinner talk with we do at home with Daniel and his buddy Alex (a little guy that I'm also taking care of). First we did our "high" of the day (I didn't want to mention any "lows"). Then I asked the boys to name something that we loved about the other. First Daniel and I shared about Alex, then Alex and I shared about Daniel. Then Daniel piped up: "Now it's your turn, Mama." He had been in a silly mood so I was expecting something funny but he got very serious and sweetly said, "I love you because you're a great mama." Oh, I added some tears to my nachos for sure. Just those simple words helped me go another few days on this journey.

Please continue to "pray, pray, pray" (as Daniel says) for God to work a miracle and bring us home by Christmas. Thanks for your love and support.

More Than Lots,
Kathie

Black Friday, Saturday, Sunday . . .

First, thanks to all of you for your encouraging comments here, via e-mail and on Facebook. I cherish each real live friend, each bloggy friend, and even you gender-neutral silhouette follower folks. It's your prayers and encouragement that keep me from going crazy.

Sorry I did not get a chance to update yesterday. I have much to share but we've been doing the chicken/no head routine for the past couple of days. When we got in last night I was going to update but the boys wanted to watch a Christmas movie on my laptop. (No DVD player in the hotel room.) And being in one room together, I have to go to bed when they do because the light from the computer screen keeps them awake.

Picking up where I left off. . . I'm happy to report that I now have minutes on my cell phone (in Guat. the phones are a pay as you go kind of deal), the boys have clean underpants, and I've gotten two good nights of sleep. Life is good.

And better news. . . they have assigned a temporary family court judge (huge answer to prayer) and we were able to get one of our critical documents we needed(another biggie). But we are far from out of the woods. We really need to get in and out of Renap (they issue the new birth certificate) next week to avoid encountering problems because our court is about to go on vacation. We're still waiting on certifications, but are hopeful they will be done next week. This is going to be a nail-biter (and I'm already down to my knuckles).

Monday afternoon we got Daniel's HIV test. He is my son right down to the fear of needles. I had hoped that this would entail to fingerprick, but, no, this was a full vial from the arm needed. We (me and the nurses) had to lasso him like a calf at a rodeo. Then I held him in my lap with my arms like the straps on an electric chair. This was not one of my favorite mommy moments of this adoption. I did the whole "I wish I could do this for you" speech (and truly meant it), but he just gave me that "how could you" look. They gave him a lollipop as a reward but he never ate it. It would be admitting that he was okay with the injustice. Daniel cried and moaned for another 20 minutes - his wails echoed throughout the mall that contained the medical lab. Just one more reason for people to stare at this woman the color of Desitin diaper cream with her beautifully pigmented son. Good times.

We were also able to take Alex to the doctor and we got him an antibiotic. (He's slowly feeling better.) But first we had to go to three pharmacies to find his prescription. I will never again complain about having a pharmacy on every corner at home. We just do not appreciate how easy life is or how blessed we are until we go to another country.

Yesterday the boys and I went to Hiper Piaz (Wal-mart in Guatemala) then to their former orphanage to say good-bye. Bittersweet. I'll share more about that later. Today I picked up the HIV test results and gathered papers to be translated for the USE.

When I left for Guatemala it was "Black Friday" in the states-the day that retailers hope Christmas shoppers will put their numbers in the black. Well, I'm here Christmas shopping for one very special item. If only there had been a "30 percent off wait for certifications" or a "free with every passport Visa" deal in the newspaper.

The only thing our family wants for Christmas is to have Daniel home and the only thing Daniel wants for Christmas is to be home. So each day I try to put our documents in the black. Please keep praying that each day brings us closer to coming home.

More than lots,
Kathie

Update from You've Got to Be Kidding Me Headquarters

Can you tell that I'm a woman stuck in a foreign country with nothing but 5 bars of internet service and a little boy who keeps asking when he will be going home for Christmas? Well, the bad news just keeps coming.

Apparently the orphanage does not have the two docs we needed so we will have to hire someone to get these. I'm not sure how long this will take. And just when I thought it couldn't get worse, we just found out that our family court judge had a stroke Friday. How horrible that the first thing I think is "how does this affect our case" but, yes, it seems I've stooped to that level of selfishness. And the answer? Well, they are looking for a provisional judge and don't know how long that will take. And my family court goes on a month long vacation Friday, Dec. 11. So if we don't get our certifications (and done correctly) by next week, our case will sit till court is back from vacation on Jan. 14. Thus, Brad and I will continue to live here until probably early February. I've run out of tears and minutes on my Guatemala cell phone and clean underwear for the boys. Please keep the prayers coming.

More than lots,
Kathie

Ear Infections, USE Appointments, Missing Documents, Oh My

Every time I travel, there's always something I leave at home that I wish I had packed. This trip it's a straight jacket. This adoption scavenger hunt is so draining in the US, but in a foreign country it is ten times as frustrating. (By the way, when I post from Guat. sometimes it caps words in the middle of sentences and moves words around so if this is a crazy mess like the last post, bear with me till I can fix it.)

It's only 11:25 a.m. here but feels like 11:25 p.m. I hardly slept last night. I had trouble falling asleep cause I'm so stressed about possibly being stuck here over Christmas. When I finally drifted off, Alex (the little boy I'm caring for till his mom can join me this weekend) woke me up because his ear was hurting. Poor thing. I felt someone standing over me about 3:00 a.m. I woke up to see him standing by my bed with tears rolling down his face, holding his ear. He didn't want to bother me but was in such pain. I gave him the pain meds and ear drops that I was able to get from a pharmacy over the weekend. He finally fell asleep about 5:00. I'm going to try to take him to the doctor today.

This was the second night that I didn't get much sleep. (Warning for little eyes and ears here!) My second night in Antigua was, ummm, interesting. The walls were paper thin so I could hear all the street traffic and parties and, well, some private adult parties on either side of our room. (I'll let you connect the dots.) Never have I been so grateful that Alex and Daniel are heavy sleepers and that I have a limited Spanish vocabulary. I was on ick overload and never fell back asleep.

Anyway, Alex went back to sleep but I couldn't. I needed to get up at 5:30 anyway so that we could show up at the US Embassy at 6:30 a.m. to get a number. We went back at 9:00 for our appointment (another long wait) but the woman at the USE was super nice and helpful. (I'm so grateful for little angels God sends along the way.) We also met two other precious adopting families. It just makes me realize how many dear families and children are going through the same thing we are.

Speaking of angels, our friend John has been a tremendous help showing me what to do and where to go for this stage of the adoption. I would be a huge mess if he weren't here. It looks like he'll be leaving some time this week, praise God (he and his wife have been taking turns fostering their son here since last April). When he and another dear adopting dad leave this week, I'm going to just move into the nice lady's office at the USE. I'll fit fine because I'll be rocking back and forth in the fetal position at that point.

The boys are swimming in the pool now. We just got Daniel's birth certificate delivered to the hotel from our attorney's office so now we're going to grab lunch, then get Daniel's HIV test and see if we can find a doctor for Alex's ear. We're also waiting to hear if Daniel's orphanage has two critical original docs that we need to continue with the USE. If not, then we're going to have to hire someone to help us get these and it could take weeks. (Blood pressure rising!!!) If they do have them, we'll be visiting the orphanage today.

That's all for now. Thanks for your love and prayers.

Muchas Gracias,
Kathie

Update from Guatemala

Sorry I have not been able to update since Friday. I arrived safely in Guatemala and spent the weekend in Antigua. Unfortunately I had only about 5 minutes of internet service while I was there. We have moved to Guatemala City for the week. It's about a 2 minute walk to the U.S. Embassy. Although it's an older hotel, I love that we will be able so close to any appointments we have coming up. (I'm hoping they'll be so sick of seeing us, they'll move our case along quickly.)

Never have I been so happy to have 5 bars of internet service. I will not complain that to get it I have to stand at my hotel window, with a metal clip in my hair, balancing on one foot. It's amazing how creative you can become in a foreign country. If necessity is the mother of invention, then desperation is the mother of completing an impossible adoption.

We did get some bad news on Friday. Our adoption attorney let me know that there was another error with our certifications and it will take a week to fix it and resubmit. As I got the news I tried to fight back tears so Daniel and his buddy that I'm also caring for could not see my disappointment. This is so frustrating because each delay means we may not make it home in time for Christmas. We lost one week because the guy doing the certifications was sick, a second week to fix errors, and now a third week to fix another error. (Each time there is a 3 day wait period that adds to the delay.)

I'm already so homesick. I talk to my kids and hubby on the phone and my heart just aches to see them. But right now I have Daniel snuggled up next to me coloring in his coloring book. Oh, my, how I love every crooked tooth in his smile, every long eyelash on each lid, every little crease in his hands. He is a Masterpiece and I'm just in awe that he is really my son. Now if we can just get him home, I promise, dear God, that I will never ask for another thing again! (Okay, that's a promise He knows I can not keep.)

We're going to see if we can find a place to eat dinner and I'll try to write more tonight. Thanks for all your continued prayers and support. I cherish each and every one of you.

Grateful in Guatemala,
Kathie

Providential Pardon

Today I felt like I was the turkey who got the Presidential Pardon (I'm calling it a Providential Pardon). I was booked on a flight to leave for Guatemala yesterday morning and at the last minute circumstances changed so I could be home with my family (minus Daniel) on Thanksgiving. (It's a long story that I'll share later.) Anyway, thanks so much to Doug and Anna Dirrim, Paul and Tammy King and family, and John Lee for the tremendous blessing you've been to me and my family this week. (I have a really long list of thank yous for all the other weeks of the year.)

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving day with time spent with Brad's side of the family and then my side of the family and finished with an adoption homecoming for Henry and Dalia Dirrim. What a special day.

We've got the fire going, a movie on, and are putting out Christmas decorations so the house will look festive when Daniel comes home. We're going to wait on the tree till he's home so he can pick it out and decorate it with us. I'm leaving for Guatemala early tomorrow morning and will try to write updates each day.

I hate to fly and will be traveling alone so please say a little prayer for me. If anyone wants to go with me, I'll pack you with my laptop (sorry but you'll have to ride in the overhead compartment). Thanks to you all for your continued prayers and support.

So Grateful,
Kathie

Sunday Dinner: Psalm 23:5--"The More I Seek You"

Okay, if you've eaten here before, you know the drill. On Sundays I serve a scripture followed by a sweet dessert of song.

This week the verse is:

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies: thou anointest my head with oil: my cup runneth over.

Psalm 23:5

It's funny that the way I view this verse has completely changed because of our adoption. I used to picture God's table as one of those long, formal "seats 50" dinette sets. Like a scene from a movie with the king at one end and the lowly subject at the other. So the thought of dining with the Almighty was an image of having the privilege of just being in the same grand banquet hall.

But as I've watched our Daniel grow to know and love us, I see this verse through his eyes. I remember the first times we took him on outings away from the orphanage, Daniel was a little nervous around us. When we took him to restaurants, and he would eat quietly. I think he was even afraid to order in case it cost too much. Once at McDonald's he worked up the courage to ask for ice cream. When Brad said of course, he swallowed hard and mustered up (in Spanish), "With chocolate, too, please?" Bless his heart. He was afraid to ask for something so easy for us to give. (Hmmmm. I guess we do that with God, too.)

When we were living in Guatemala in June, we got to take him to many restaurants and I even got to cook meals for our family at a house we rented. And Daniel's behavior with us was so different from those early days. He laughed with us and snuggled up with us and boldly led the prayer. I'd give him my papas fritas (French fries) and he'd offer a taste of his meal. Still polite and respectful, but no longer nervous of doing the wrong thing. It is simply because he is no longer a guest, but part of our family. (This is a pic from one of our favorite restaurants.)


The verse goes on to say that God dines with us in front of our enemies. Although the restaurants in Guatemala often had signs at the doorway asking for no guns (I'm not joking--leave the ammo in the car), the only danger I felt dining there was possible gastrointestinal attacks (sorry, too much information). (This was displayed outside of many restaurants.)


But there was something special about taking Daniel out in public. We were showing the world that he belonged to us and we would provide for all he needed. And then some of the most beautiful words in the 23rd Psalm, "my cup runneth over", remind me of Daniel's sweet face in finding out he can have the chocolate on top of the ice cream. So often I'll pray for something and God will provide far beyond what I had ever even hoped for.

Today's dessert is one of my all time favorite songs--"The More I Seek You" by Kari Jobe. The lyrics so perfectly say what I would certainly tell my Heavenly Father if I were seated at His table. Please take a moment to listen to the words--either playing on the blog or through the video.


This week is Thanksgiving and there will be lots of tables prepared before us. I'm not yet sure if I'll be spending Thanksgiving with my family here or with Daniel in Guatemala. Either way I'll be rejoicing in the gift of the ones God has graciously placed around my table. My cup certainly overflows and for that I'm truly grateful.

So Thankful,
Kathie

It's a Blog!

Yep. This is the official birth announcement of my blog.

I resisted starting one for many reasons. First, I’m technologically challenged--my calls to computer customer service numbers have been known to cause the rep to laugh, cry, or resign. (I’m not joking.) Second, I have a dozen journals that begin on January 1 and stop on January 6, so I have this fear of starting something I can’t keep up with. (I hate to advertise my lack of discipline publicly and really don’t need something else to feel guilty about.) Third, it seems everyone and their pet has a blog so who am I to think I’d have anything new to share.

But the reasons to write one are starting to outweigh the reasons not to. Primarily, we’re in the last trimester of our “paper pregnancy” (adoption) and I’m just realizing that I’m about to deliver a nine year old without an epidural. We could really use the prayer support right now and this is the easiest way to keep friends updated on what’s going on. And I’ve met so many through online blogs who have offered such support, advice, and encouragement. If I only “introduce” readers to friends and resources related to faith, adoption, grief, parenting . . . then it is worth the effort.

Last, God has been so faithful through valleys much deeper and darker than the one we are walking right now. Although my blog probably won’t look fancy (see above regarding computer skills) and I may go days without a new post (see pile of blank journals), I want to document every answered prayer, every mountain moved, and every miracle celebrated as a testimony of His goodness and mercy. Thanks for going on this journey with us.

Gratefully His,
Kathie

P.S. The photo above was taken when we were living in Guatemala this past June. We had our precious cargo in the back seat of a rental car (without seat belts or air conditioning) on bumpy roads trying to find a house we had rented in Antigua. Brad and I were trying to look calm in spite of the fact that we were lost in a foreign country and the sun was going down quickly. But the kiddos in the back were having a great time--completely trusting that the people in the front seat would take care of them. A great metaphor for life--if we just surrender to the One driving, we should never be afraid when the road gets bumpy, the surroundings are foreign, or we are traveling through darkness.