Thursday, December 10, 2009

Coming Home Empty Handed

No word from our attorney. It seems they still haven't gotten the signatures on our certifications. There's no need to drive to Chimaltenango now. There would be no way to get there and back in time to catch my flight home. I'm nervous because if we don't get these signatures by tomorrow, we will have to wait till Jan. 14 to get them because our court is going on vacation.

Our only hope now is for Brad to go to Renap on Monday (if the certifications have been signed), then IF we get the new birth certificate he'll go to get the passport. Then he'll submit our final documents on Tuesday with the hope that they will do our Visa interview on Weds. If those things don't happen, well, I rest in knowing Daniel will come home according to His timing in His way and by His grace. I'm living proof of God's faithfulness and surrender to His sovereignty.

Still it is hard leaving Guatemala without Daniel. I had fully expected my homecoming to have his sweet hand in mine . . . to have him sitting on the airplane next to me marveling at the view from the clouds . . . to be greeted by our dear family and friends welcoming him home. Instead I'll be passing the baton and a bunch of documents to Brad to finish the race.

But it is time to go home. I've been away from my other three for 2 weeks. I can't bear another day. Brad and I agreed that it was okay for our children to make sacrifices to get their brother home, but I could tell that we were getting dangerously close to crossing the line of what they could handle. We don't want Daniel's siblings to resent him before he comes home.

When I was talking with my nine year old Ava the other night, she started sobbing and said, "Don't they understand by now how much we love him?! Why can't they see that he is part of our family and just let him come home?!"

I guess I'm feeling the same way. I feel like I'm going home from the hospital after delivering a baby and he has to stay. But it's not because he isn't healthy enough to go home . . . it's because the papers don't yet declare that he is ours. And I guess that's the hardest part of adoption. Knowing that the child is ours before the world agrees.

We're all packed and I'm waiting for my driver to take me to the airport. I'm so grateful that Daniel was so understanding that I needed to go and Papa will be coming. I know there will be tears as I leave and that is so hard. Oh Lord, please make this be the last time I have to say good-bye.

Thanks for your continued love and prayers.

With a Heavy Heart,
Kathie

6 comments:

Kim said...

I'm very sorry Kathy that Daniel won't be coming home yet but keep your faith and strength up for your kids at home. It will happen in the perfect timing! Praying!

G-Zell said...

I am so sorry he is not coming home yet.

Keep strong mommas! :)

Michelle said...

Crying tears for your heavy heart. Remembering the time of being my kids mom and yet being their mom...some how the leagal system and hearts are not usually on the same time frame when the word adoption is part of the paper work.

Lelia said...

Oh, I'm crying too. . .I can't believe you're coming home without him. But it sounds like a wise decision. I know your three at home miss you so. . .and you must be so tired and emotionally spent. You need some rest. And now Brad is heading down there? Wow. . .Any chance he'll come home with Brad before Christmas?

Tracy said...

I know this is hard. So sad that things aren't working out yet, but think of how close you are!! There is an end in sight! :0)

See you soon!

Victoria said...

Awww... what a heartfelt story. Things will come together:) God is Beyond Good. It took me a minute to find you to follow back. Usually when someone follows me I click their pic to follow back but when I clicked yours it did not bring me to your link. I think if you go into your main page and edit profile, look for where it says your your home page url and type your blogspot url in there. Might help people find you faster because I don't log onto MBC all the time:) Glad I finally found you though. Have a good eve. & Merry Christmas!