Thursday, April 15, 2010

Our Anaconda Adventure

I'm hoping for a normal day today, because lately my life has been one poorly written sitcom. There are days that I can actually hear the laugh track.

For example, yesterday was beautiful outside so we decided to wash my van. In Georgia we have had a heavy dusting of pollen and my mom-mobile was so yellow it looked like something Big Bird should drive.

I opened the garage to get the buckets and sponges. As I was exiting the garage I looked down to see a large stick just inches from my bare feet. The stick moved. I screamed loud enough for Eskimos to hear in Alaska.

Yes. It was a snake. And it had snuggled up next to our garage door that was now open. Now I'm not an expert on reptiles, but I think it was an anaconda. Perhaps a python. Ranging somewhere between 15 and 27 feet. Being the calm mother that I am, I instructed the kids to "run for your lives."

Okay. Okay. It was some dinky, harmless, probably friendly garden snake. But I HATE snakes. Perhaps I'm still holding a grudge with the whole Eve/fall of man/pain in childbirth story. (But I can assure you that if I had been Eve, I wouldn't have talked to it.) In my opinion, "Snakes on a Plane" is perhaps the most horrifying movie made. I only saw the trailer, but the story combines my two greatest fears--snakes and air travel.

Anyway, I ran back into the garage toward the kitchen door and quickly closed the garage door because if it came into the garage, we would have to move. We ran out the front door to see if it got the message that it wasn't welcome and I saw that I had trapped its belly with the garage door and it's head and tail ends were slithering about. Eeeewww.

I ran back into the house, pushed the button to raise the garage door just enough to free it, and to my relief it slithered away with a little cartoon bubble reading, "I picked the wrong house!"

Once it was well into our neighbor's yard, I took a picture of our anaconda/python.

Brad's out of town and I want proof of how I protected the homestead armed only with a garage door opener while he was gone. Ava said, "Ooooo, Mom, you need to post that on your blog."

The boys still wanted to play outside and later we did wash the car (that's why they have on their bathing suit trunks), but the boys put on their protective gear in case sneaky snake returned.

As we sat down to start our school day today, the boys asked if we could study about snakes. Although I usually prefer a hands-on approach to learning, I think we'll let this lesson come from a library book and internet info.

Reptile Repulsed,


RueRue said...

Blech! I hate them nasty thangs! That was a BIG one, too. Blech!

The Fat Nutrition Writer said...

Oh my goodnes, I would have fainted! You are such a fun story teller and you sound like such a great mom! I am so glad I found your blog through MBC. I am now your newest follower. Follow me if you like at

Kat said...

Cobra...I'm sure it's a cobra. It looked more like 30 feet long (a record maybe) :).

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sierrasmom said...

I had to laugh!!! My husband hates snakes and before we went to China he had never flown and was petrified to. Of course the movie Snakes on a Plane came out while we were waiting to travel so the commercials were constantly on. My husband vowed to not step on a plane. Thankfully he did and no snakes were spotted!!!
Tell Daniel I am sorry about his arm but I love the cast!!! Sierra got hers off last week.

TanyaLea said...

Oh Kathie ~ That has got to be the funniest thing I have read in ages! ;) You are truly a Warrior Mama, and I'm sure your hubby was so proud of you (and the boys!!) for protecting the homestead! ;o)

Seriously, I can't stand the things, either. I think I hold the same 'grude' as you towards snakes! And I'm pretty certain that was a Python... It looked like it was at least 18 feet to me!! ;) If it was a garden snake, it looks NOTHING like the Gardener snakes we have up here in Minnesota. We don't have poisonous snakes in our neck of the woods, and our little Gardener snakes don't get more than a couple of feet long, and usually smaller, sometimes even teenie... and yet they still creep me out! eeeeeeewwwwww! We do have these snakes called "Bull" snakes around here though. I've only ever seen one once, near a swampy area, and it looked very much like a Rattler, minus the 'rattle' of course. But similar in size and completely gave me the 'eeebie-jeebies' ...SO gross!!!

You have a great gift of writing. Coupled with your fun sense of humor and creativity, I enjoy every post!

God bless! <><
~ Tanya