I'm hoping for a normal day today, because lately my life has been one poorly written sitcom. There are days that I can actually hear the laugh track.
For example, yesterday was beautiful outside so we decided to wash my van. In Georgia we have had a heavy dusting of pollen and my mom-mobile was so yellow it looked like something Big Bird should drive.
I opened the garage to get the buckets and sponges. As I was exiting the garage I looked down to see a large stick just inches from my bare feet. The stick moved. I screamed loud enough for Eskimos to hear in Alaska.
Yes. It was a snake. And it had snuggled up next to our garage door that was now open. Now I'm not an expert on reptiles, but I think it was an anaconda. Perhaps a python. Ranging somewhere between 15 and 27 feet. Being the calm mother that I am, I instructed the kids to "run for your lives."
Okay. Okay. It was some dinky, harmless, probably friendly garden snake. But I HATE snakes. Perhaps I'm still holding a grudge with the whole Eve/fall of man/pain in childbirth story. (But I can assure you that if I had been Eve, I wouldn't have talked to it.) In my opinion, "Snakes on a Plane" is perhaps the most horrifying movie made. I only saw the trailer, but the story combines my two greatest fears--snakes and air travel.
Anyway, I ran back into the garage toward the kitchen door and quickly closed the garage door because if it came into the garage, we would have to move. We ran out the front door to see if it got the message that it wasn't welcome and I saw that I had trapped its belly with the garage door and it's head and tail ends were slithering about. Eeeewww.
I ran back into the house, pushed the button to raise the garage door just enough to free it, and to my relief it slithered away with a little cartoon bubble reading, "I picked the wrong house!"
Once it was well into our neighbor's yard, I took a picture of our anaconda/python.
Brad's out of town and I want proof of how I protected the homestead armed only with a garage door opener while he was gone. Ava said, "Ooooo, Mom, you need to post that on your blog."
The boys still wanted to play outside and later we did wash the car (that's why they have on their bathing suit trunks), but the boys put on their protective gear in case sneaky snake returned.
As we sat down to start our school day today, the boys asked if we could study about snakes. Although I usually prefer a hands-on approach to learning, I think we'll let this lesson come from a library book and internet info.