Happy Day of the Father!

We're back! We thoroughly enjoyed our first trip to the beach with Daniel. I'll share more later, but he LOVED every minute of it. He loved the ocean, the sand, the pool, the time with family. The oil threatened but never hit us. And our coming home was so sweet. He walked in the door and said what I always feel after being away, "I love you beautiful home. I love you beautiful kitties and fish and frog." It hasn't taken him long to learn that vacations are fun, but there's no place like home.

Today is Father's Day or what Daniel calls "The Day of the Father." (That's what they call it in Guatemala.) Brad prefers the Daniel's version. Sounds much more important.

I have much to be grateful for on Father's Day. I've been blessed with a wonderful father, father-in-law, and father to my children. Most of all, I've been blessed with a good and merciful Heavenly Father.

Years ago I was shopping for Father's Day cards with someone close to me. She was looking for a card for her step-father who had not been a good father--he was angry and verbally abusive and she was afraid of him most of her childhood. She was looking in the "simply stated" section trying to find something along the lines of "well, you're getting this card because I'm supposed to pretend I'm honoring you."

She said that as a little girl she had a hard time listening to people describe God as our Father. Her only example of a father was more kin to monster than Savior. She didn't need another father to fear, another father to tell her she was worthless. It wasn't until she understood that our Heavenly Father is a father of sacrificial love that she was able to cling to Him as the father she had longed for. She said, "I got a second chance to have a daddy."

I know if I was purchasing a greeting card for our Heavenly Father, I wouldn't be shopping in the "simply stated" section of Hallmark. (Because He's the only one who truly "cares enough to send the very best.")

The scripture for Sunday dinner is what I'd write on the outside of my handmade card to God:

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

I John 3:1, NIV

The dessert of song for today is an old favorite--"How Deep the Father's Love for Us." Joy Williams does a wonderful rendition of it. I've also included a video below from Sovereign Grace Ministries. It was shared at our church this morning and I thought it was such a beautiful tribute to the One who adopted me. (You will need to pause the playlist at the bottom of the blog so you won't hear both songs at the same time.)

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the blessing of my husband, my dad, my father-in-law, and the legacy of my grandfathers. All are beautiful reflections of your love.

So Grateful,
Kathie

More Than Lots

Hi. My name is Kathie and I'm a sentimental keeper. I didn't realize how bad my addiction was until I had children. I couldn't part with anything--from hospital bracelets to baby shoes. I accumulated a collection of first curls to first teeth that made my memento box look like it was from a forensic lab. (I did not keep the umbilical stumps. Promise.)

But things really started to get out of control when my kids began to make things--precious artwork and macaroni jewelry and prized school papers. Handmade birthday, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day masterpieces. I soon realized that I had enough treasures to fill the Smithsonian and if I didn't find a way to part with some of it I was destined to be featured on the show "Hoarders."

And so I became painfully selective about what I kept and what I tossed. But to make sure that everything (and everyone) was adequately cherished, I created a life cycle for these items.

Treasured artwork and prized school papers are first praised at the dinner table. After a sufficient number of "oooos and ahhhhs", the item is posted on the fridge for the family's visual enjoyment. After about a week (or when the refrigerator door begins to fall off its hinges due to the weight), I slowly move these items to a special pile on the kitchen counter. There it stays for a 24 hour period and if the item is not missed it would then be oh so ceremoniously placed into our waste receptacle, hidden under other trash.

On a few occasions, the artist formerly known as prince/princess discovered that his/her masterpiece had somehow jumped from the fridge into the trash. I would gasp in horror, reassure the child that I had no idea how that could have happened, and the item would start its life cycle over (dinner table--oooo and ahhh--fridge--counter--trash) until it safely made it to the great compost pile in the sky. (Fortunately my older two are now okay with the tossing.)

For years our system worked. I had significantly cut back on what was kept until . . . we started this adoption. And suddenly there was a new child and my only contact with him for weeks at a time was the treasures we'd get because we sponsored him. We would dance at the mailbox upon discovering a new letter from Daniel. We all would study his penmanship, delight in his artistic ability, and memorize his letters in both Spanish and English.



One letter came at a time that we felt burdened to pray for his safety. His letter simply said, "How much I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my help, my liberty, He is my God. He is my refuge, He is my shield, the power that saves me."



His most precious letter to us was translated as saying, "I love you lots. I love you more than lots. I love you with all my heart and all of me. When I'm with you, I'm happy. When you go, I cry. I can't wait to come home to the USA." That one was certainly a keeper.

Unfortunately, they all are. And since he's come home, I can't seem to part with anything he has made (and he LOVES to do arts and crafts). I've missed so many years of baby teeth, haircuts, photos, turkeys drawn by tracing his hand, bugs made with thumbprints, Christmas ornaments made from Popsicle sticks. How in the world can I toss anything now? (What makes it harder is that most of the items are made for me with "Mama" proudly written somewhere on them.)



But yesterday I saw one of his drawings on the fridge.



It had had a long and happy life. It featured a foam dinosaur, displayed in a 3-D pop-up style, with little brown balls of paper glued on to look like poop. If you look closely you can see it says "To Mom, From Daniel." I took a deep breath. Yes. I think this is one that I can part with. It must start some time. I moved it to the countertop. I know. I'm a woman of great courage.

Last night as I was tucking him in, we prayed together as we always do. And we always pray for his friends back at the children's home that he lived in the past three years. When we finished, he asked why the other kids lived there at the orphanage. I explained that some were there until their parents could afford to care for them. Some were there because their parents had died. And some where there because their parents had hurt them and they needed to be somewhere safe.

I looked at Daniel and he had his little finger pointing to his chest. I asked, "Was that like you?" He nodded. (We were aware of some of his past but were thinking he had blocked it out because he had never talked about it.) Then he proceeded to explain the abuse from his mother--bits and pieces of words fleshed out with motions. Tears poured down his face . . . and then down mine.

I hugged him tightly saying, "I'm your Mama now. I always have been. It just took me a while to find you." I was crying so much that he eventually started to smile at the sight of his mom boo-hooing all kinds of ugly.

After tucking him in I returned to the kitchen. I saw the artwork sitting on the counter awaiting the trash. I realized that I didn't need it. Now that I can hold him, talk with him, laugh with him, cry with him, the artwork that I truly cherish is being written on my heart. I have a child who has had a lifetime without love, who freely loves me "more than lots." Now that is a masterpiece!

I picked up the creation with the dinosaur with bowel issues and put it . . . back on the fridge. For now, I need to hold onto each moment just a bit longer. For I have always been his Mama, it just took me a little while to find him.

More Than Lots,
Kathie

Happy Valentine's Day/Sunday Dinner: John 3:16--"So In Love"

We've had a wonderful Valentine's Day weekend and I hope you all have as well. It was so special because it was Daniel's first Valentine's Day at home and he loved every heart-shaped pancake and every silly decoration we have around here. He was so super excited about today that I kept reminding him that this wasn't Christmas (although the stores seem to indicate otherwise). I did have a little bag of goodies for each child and he was so appreciative as always.

The kids spent a long time making Valentine's for each other. I was exiled from the kitchen as the kids worked on their "top secret" creations. Daniel came to my room to tell me I could come back downstairs and said, "I worked the most on your card, Mama. I hope you like it very much." I was just overwhelmed with his love for me (and my love for him) and hugged him right there and with tears said, "Thank you, God, for giving us Daniel!" Oh, I'm still so grateful that he is finally home. I can't imagine life without him.

I have many sweet pics from our day, but the kiddos went to bed before I had a chance to get them approved. (I promised my family that I wouldn't post pics without their permission first.)

But I know Daniel won't mind this one of the two of us with one of his cards to me.

And Ava won't mind this one with me holding a huge heart that all the kids worked on together.

Regarding Sunday dinner, perhaps the world's best love note ever written is:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16

Dessert for the day is "So In Love" by Jeremy Camp. It's a sweet song that gives thanks and praise to the One who loves us so. If there was a Heavenly Father section at Hallmark, I'd probably purchase a card with these lyrics to give to God.

I wrote a post a few months ago called "Loved to Pieces." For those of you who may not have read it . . . it's a different kind of love story. May it remind you just how much you are loved.

Happy Valentine's Day!
Kathie

Tips on Tuesday: Making Loved Ones Feel Loved

Thanks so much to those of you who took the time to share your great ideas!!! I just love hearing what other people are doing to make those around them feel loved.

Sorry I'm posting so late in the day. We have a "no screens till noon" policy for the boys so they will focus on their schoolwork without distraction. Unfortunately they like to see me keep the same rule by keeping the computer and TV off, too. Sometimes I sneak a quick look at my e-mails but it doesn't give me much time to post. So perhaps this should be called Tips on Tuesday Night After Homework, Dinner, and Bathtime.

The following idea is from a mom with one young son who also cares for a girl and her siblings(who live with their grandmother) that she met through the big brothers/big sisters program.
"We have some kids that we minister to each week who seem like part of our family. We met them through the big brothers/big sisters program. We are matched with Hannah and have since fallen in love with all four of the kids. Hannah spends a few nights each week at our house and we feel like she is just one of our family. For Hannah what we have done in the past is the night before Valentine's Day, we make cookies or cupcakes together that are love themed. Then we eat them while we write out her valentines cards for school. Then the morning of, we leave the sweetheart candies with messages on the stairs for her to find when she comes down that morning and then we have a little v-day stuffed animal waiting for her and we eat heart shaped pancakes for breakfast with strawberries on top.

She often gets left out of things at school that the other kids have parents for and a lot of parents send things to be delivered to the class so I always surprise her by taking a gift bag with little candies and a card and some sort of cheap necklace or something special to be delivered to her room. Her teachers have said that she just lights up and soaks up the chance to "show off" what her family did for her like the other kids get to. That night we always spend as a family and she LOVES to hear us "tell our story" of how my husband and I fell in love. This year we will incorporate our son into all of this now since he is finally old enough to kind of understand.

My husband and I also do a scavenger hunt with each other. He always has little love notes hidden around the house with some sort of clues and then I find them and there is always a sweet love letter he has written me." Teri from Florida, at The Delucca Family (a precious blog about a sweet family with a lot of love)

This tip was shared by a writer of a cute blog that makes me miss being 20-something and a newlywed (*sigh*):
"For me, heartfelt words can go much further than anything else. My husband and I still write 'love notes' to one another, and these never fail to put a smile on my face. I'd rather have a genuine note from my husband than flowers and chocolate any day!" Meg at My So-Called Blog

The following was shared by a blogger who had a recent post full of ideas called 100 Ways to Make Your Husband Feel Loved. I share a few of my favorites below but check out the whole post for many more:
"Warm a towel for him while he’s in the shower, so a hot towel is waiting for him instead of a cold bathroom.

Play footsie – dinner time can often be crowd control from opposite sides of the table. If you can’t play footsie, maybe sit next to each other if that is usual for you.

Pick a book that interests both of you and take turns reading to each other.

Give him a long foot rub.

Play 'your song' or other sappy songs that remind you of your early days together.

Take a 'kissy' picture together! Our pictures are from our wedding, we need new 'together' ones!" From Quirky Mama at Quirky Momma--Activities for Kids, Tips for Moms

"Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays. Even though my kids are grown, I still give them a Valentine, usually something little that I know they really like and Chuck will get his fav dessert made, rice pudding. I always send my mom a Valentines card and I always make cutout Valentine's cookies. I've been seeing some GREAT ideas on these blogs. I will be making my grandson a Valentines Ginger bread train and hopefully will take a picture to post..so I'd better get busy baking." Karen at Planes, Trains, and Automobiles and the Things that Make Up Days

We do some things that I'm sure many of the rest of you also do. We have "Daddy/Mommy Dates" where one of us will take one child somewhere of their choosing for one-on-one time. Sometimes it's breakfast with Dad, horseback riding with Mom, swimming at an indoor pool with Dad, pottery making with Mom. You get the idea. Of all the things we do with our kids, I think perhaps these "dates" will be what our children remember the most. Brad and I also try to have a date night with each other on a regular basis.

Like others mentioned above, we also write notes to each other. I hide them in places from lunchboxes to pillowcases, in their basket of clean-folded laundry or in their school lockers. Be creative with your little "love note" deliveries. I've even hidden them in shoes, in drawers, in coat pockets, in school books, under dinner plates. I buy cute stationary and notepads when I find them. I'm going to stock up on Valentine's cards after V-Day for the boys and use them throughout the year by scratching out the word "Valentine" and replacing with "Superson" Day. (They won't mind the editing because they will be too excited to see Spiderman.)

Our winner of our Valentine goodie drawing is Teri. (Teri, can you e-mail your address and I'll send it to you.) Happy Valentine's week to all of you!

With Love,
Kathie